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Mormon Temple Weddings, and how "unworthy" persons are not allowed in.
| My youngest son is finally married. He had two broken engagements in the past few years, so this was a big relief to him and to us. He's got a wonderful woman as a bride and we couldn't be happier.
The wedding took place in a temple. I flew in for the weekend. My youngest daughter asked me to tend my two grand daughters, age 4 and 2 while she attended the temple ceremony, which I agreed to do. I sat in the waiting room with them along with some other "unworthy" souls. The schedule got behind a little so I was there longer than I cared to be with two toddlers in tow. Finally, they came out and we had lots and lots of pictures and my son could not stop smiling. I was so happy for him.
I held things together until my older daughter made an offhand comment about something she thought was funny, but cut me to the quick. She said the sealer, upon finding out that his mother wasn't there, kept calling her the "proxy mom". My younger daughter was quite upset with her for telling me that because she knew it would hurt. And it did.
At any rate, we had a lovely luncheon for close family and friends...about 45 total, and it was just perfect. My ex and I paid for the luncheon and they did not have a reception so this was the main event. We were worthy enough to pay for that, but just couldn't see them get married.
It was a very happy day, tinged with just a hint of sadness. I didn't cry, but got tears in my eyes just a little when I knew it was about the time they were getting sealed.
Last night, after the wedding festivities, the other grown children besides my son who left on his honeymoon, took their dad to dinner to celebrate father's day. It was great because they seem to finally be aware that he is still their dad even though we aren't married anymore and he has been out as a gay man since 1992. Perhaps everyone is finally growing up. My oldest will be 38 in a couple of months.
All in all it was a very pleasant and happy weekend. TSSC is still cruel in the way it handles weddings. Someday, I hope it changes.
| For those of you lucky enough to be out of the loop, Mormon marriage season started a couple of weeks ago. I missed the first two receptions due to scheduling conflicts but a good friend of mine had a daughter get married in the temple this morning so I went to the reception tonight. The girl is barely 19 and married a recently returned RM. Both sets of parents are thrilled that they've gotten another child safely thru to the next level of Morgdom. Actually the reception was very nice. But another child has married straight from her parents home with very little college education and no real experience of the world. The Morg has tied a couple of souls tighter to their cult where they will be squeezed for time and money, increasingly so with each passing year. Another couple of kids who aren't financially ready will probably start a family of their own soon. The LDS church promises so much to families and delivers so little and takes most of all.
If that weren't enough to make a fun evening, I sat in a room full of people who have no idea that I don't believe in the church, or follow the WoW, or wear my garments, or attend the temple and who are all my "friends" and I got to wonder how many of them will even speak to me as the truth comes out that I no longer want to be a member of their tribe. Maybe my "friend" with the crazy family - she seems unusually tolerant. Definitely not my neighbor who won't read any book not published by Deseret Book. Possibly my "friend" who has the non-mo DH - but she's always harping to him about "eternal families" so maybe she isn't all that understanding. Or maybe the cowboy I had a secret crush on for years who helped me understand why people believe in Mormonism against all logic, against all facts and scientific evidences. Even though every single fact told me that this guy would not make a good spouse for me and was inferior in every way to my husband, I still would have gone after him (if we were both single) because I "felt" so strongly about him. I can see now how feelings can lead people to willfully turn their back on almost every ounce of common sense they possess. He'd definitely snub me.
All these good people - all these fake friendships. And me watching from another planet, having slipped thru the looking glass, not being able to unlearn the truth. Just about everyone I know sees the world completely differently from me now. I guess this is just one of the things you pass thru on the way to an authentic life but it doesn't make it any less depressing.
| || What Do You Mean You Were Unworthy To Go To Your Son's Wedding? |
Wednesday, Aug 19, 2009, at 08:24 AM
Original Author(s): Debbie The Rebbie
Topic: TEMPLE WEDDINGS -Link To MC Article-
| ↑ |
| This is what a dear friend of mine said last night when I was telling him about the trauma of not being allowed to see my son get married in the temple because I could not lie and say I believed in Joseph's Myth etc. I was not deemed "worthy" to see my own son married. He just had to have me repeat it,like it was the craziest thing he had ever heard.
He is Navajo and said, in his culture, everyone in all the related clans is invited. It is important to all come together to celebrate.
Wow, what an idea! No worthiness interviews? NO waiting outside a line drawn in the sand? It is about the marriage and the family -- celebrating a milestone in life.
After we talked, I felt this emptiness inside -- what did I get my son into? He is a TBM and from the looks of it, will remain so, and is teaching his children the way I taught him. So,it is a safe bet that there will be more temple weddings to come.
I gave way more than ten percent to the cult.
I want a FTC ring! If they ask, I might say it stands for Free the Children...or Face the Challenge...
| || From The Department Of Unwanted Mormon Mental Baggage: Thoughts At A Wedding |
Monday, Aug 24, 2009, at 07:41 AM
Original Author(s): Munchybotaz
Topic: TEMPLE WEDDINGS -Link To MC Article-
| ↑ |
| So I went to this great wedding yesterday and, as usual, sat there noticing all the things that would never happen at a gathering of my own socially retarded, conservative, boring, inexperienced, mostly (Jack) Mormon family and feeling envious.
The only reason I know how to behave at these events is I’ve been out in the non-Mormon world long enough to watch and learn and blend in. The people around me have no idea what role models they’ve been, in ways they probably take for granted.
First thing I noticed–still, after 17 years out of Utah and 29 out of Mormonism: the drinking. And not just the fact that most of the guests were doing it and it was perfectly normal, but that no one appeared to be sitting around passing judgment.
In addition to the open bar, the bride’s father makes wine, and he made enough for the entire wedding–300 people, 3 bottles on every table and then some. If that had happened in my family, you’d never hear the end of it.
One of my cousins–daughter of the other daughter of my Mormon-hating atheist grandpa with the pink car (the one who got most of his attention and wasn’t subconsciously driven to piss him off)–had champagne at her wedding. It was an issue with the Mormon contingent, which made it an issue all around. And here I am 36 years later, remembering three things: (1) the champagne; (2) what I wore; and (3) that I was asked to tend the guest book, because that’s the best job for a 13-year-old victim of grownup sibling rivalry.
Passive aggression is the norm on both sides of my family–that is, on my dad’s side, when they’re not being openly hostile.
Which brings me to another thing I noticed: that the members of both families seemed genuinely close to one another and genuinely welcoming to the other family and all their friends. One guy from the groom’s family was wearing a button that said “Everybody wants to be a [surname],” and it was easy to see why. It was super inclusive and full of memorable speeches.
All the bride was able to say was that she couldn’t have asked for a better day. I’m tearing up just thinking about it.
I don’t recall any speeches being given at any of my relatives’ weddings. Instead, we remember things like who drank, who was too casually dressed, who looked slutty, who brought an undesirable guest, who said what appalling thing, whether or not Grandma was a total bitch from hell, and any “weird” (read: non-Mormonish) vows or music.
You wouldn’t see the wedding party dancing to Baby Got Back at a Munchymofamily wedding. You wouldn’t see anyone dancing, because the men probably don’t know how to dance and the women feel funny about dancing with other women. It’s hard to dance, anyway, with that sharp pointy stick up your butt.
Later in the evening, after all the wedding rituals were done, the DJ announced that it was my 21st birthday and played a birthday song (you can guess which one). That was the bride’s doing. Amid all the wedding planning hubbub, she remembered my birthday.
I couldn’t have asked for a better day, either. Classiest wedding I’ve seen, done on a shoestring budget. People flew in from all over the country, because they knew it was going to be great. How cool would that be, to look forward to a family gathering? I don't know!
Now I’m sure these families have their issues, and maybe they were even showing here and there, but I didn’t notice. At my family gatherings, people with the same surname clump together and look for things to disapprove of. There’s not much mingling because, you know, people who aren’t exactly like you are weird and scary.
I’m disappointed in my family–not just for myself and what they failed to teach me, but for what they never experienced and learned for themselves.
Mormons miss out on so much.
| One significant advantage that the UK Mormon couples have over USA Mormon couples has to do with the marriage ceremony.
For anybody in the USA who can't attend a child's wedding in a Mormon temple, because the Cult wishes to divide your family because you haven't paid them money or because you don't believe in the fakery of Mormonism, you only have to persuade your child to visit the UK, where a proper wedding can take place. Where love is spoken of in the ceremony, and where the whole focus is on the couple, not on a Cult. The bride can wear a beautiful dress. And neither the bride or the groom have to swear a death oath to the cult.
Proper weddings are very happy occasions and are memorable to all.
Mormon weddings are a not even good enough to be classed as an imitation. Mormon weddings are an obscenity.
In the UK:
1. The Morg's temple marriage ceremony is worthless and of no consequence in the eyes of the law. You might as well perform a marriage ceremony between a dog and a goldfish and expect it to have legal significance, than to perform the weird Mormon temple marriage thingy and expect it to have any legal value. Neither the government nor the courts recognize Mormon temple weddings. No one does.
2. For the reason above, only marriages performed in chapels, churches, government registry offices, by legally appointed persons, etc are legally recognized. Therefore, if you are a Mormon and you want to have an authentic marriage ceremony, you must be married in a chapel, etc. If you fail to have this done prior to the Mormon temple theatre cult-thing, then even the Morg will refuse to let you participate in its fake wedding at the mctemple.
An interesting side note. After being properly married in a UK chapel, Mormon couples are ordered to go directly to a cult mctemple, without having any intimacy in between the proper ceremony and the fake ceremony. If Mormon couples fail to do this, or if they can't get to a temple in time, they have to wait a year before they can get married in the so-called house of the Mormon god.
So what's the solution for my American friends?
It's quite simple.
For anybody who can't attend a child's USA-based Mormon wedding, you only have to persuade your child to visit the UK, where a proper wedding can take place. Where love is spoken of in the ceremony, and where the whole focus is on the couple, not on a Cult. The bride can wear a beautiful dress. And neither the bride of the groom have to swear a death oath to the cult.
Oh, and forget the UK chapel wedding. That can be hit or miss, depending on the freakery level of the bishop. It's probably best to marry in a real Christian church, or at the registrars. The finest wedding i ever attended took place at a registrar's office. The simplicity of the ceremony followed by very informal but loving celebrations in a garden at a lovely pub across the road was wonderful. My wife and I, devoted Mormons at the time, both said that it was the best wedding we had ever attending. it was a privilege to be there.
So avoid the heart-break that the Mormon cult seeks to inflict on you. Persuade your wonderful sons and daughters to marry in the UK.
| I left northern California at 4 a.m. on Friday morning in order to be at the Los Angeles temple by 12:30 p.m. for my brother-in-law's wedding. The drive down was beautiful. My husband had been out of town all week and then flew in to Long Beach Thursday evening, so it was just me and the boys.
We had good tunes, good coffee and comfy pillows. The commute from San Francisco to L.A. has usually been pure torture, but not Friday. It was peaceful watching the sky slowly brighten and then suddenly burst into light the second the sun rose over the horizon. I was in a fabulous mood.
We arrived in great time. Outside the temple, we exchanged hugs with all the family that aren't "worthy" to enter. The kids were all ecstatic to see their cousins. In true southern California fashion, it was a gorgeous day to be married.
After awhile of waiting, we crossed the street to the visitor's center. To the left there was an amazing display geared towards kids with bright-colored houses that were built out from the wall (complete with a white picket fences and fake grass), each with a screen playing some morg propaganda. There was a table with benches in the corner that had four screens flush with the tabletop and accompanying "pens" so the kids could draw virtual pictures. It was a huge hit with the kids.
After resting in a comfy chair and chatting with a sister missionary about face masks, L.A. smog, and short versus long hair, I moseyed on over to the opposite side of the center which was an equally impressive display, but intended for adults.
I couldn't do it. I immediately felt sick. My knees went weak. I didn't even stay long enough to see the giant Jesus with his outstretched arms. I had to get out. Crazy!! I have never had that experience before. I really thought I was going to puke.
I wasn't bummed at all that I wasn't witnessing the sealing. I had a brief vision of the happy couple in his baker hat and her veil with the awkward big white bow tied under her chin. No. I was content to just see them exit the building in her beautiful dress and his GQ suit.
I have no desire to enter that building ever again. How many hours had I already wasted inside exchanging secret handshakes and donning goofy clothes? I enjoyed a devious smile as I thought about attending my brother's wedding a few years ago in that very temple. I had to lie to get my recommend, but I wasn't going to miss my brother's wedding for stupid requirements that I knew to be ridiculous. I didn't even have to pay tithing to get the recommend as my husband was the sole provider and everyone in my ward knew him to be an unbeliever. I sat in the sealing room all those years ago and wondered why god was allowing me to sit there, sans garments (infact, I was wearing a lacy thong).
I left my flashback just before the couple came out. All of the family that attended the sealing joined us on the steps. They described in great detail all the tears shed (in happiness I assume) and hugs exchanged. Shucks. I wondered if the hug they gave me in the shadow of the temple didn't mean as much.
Their piety hung on their sleeves. They spoke in lowered tones expressing how sorry there were that we couldn't be there. My husband just kissed me and said we had been enjoying ourselves.
They can stay in their little exclusive card holder's club and attend creepy ceremonies in a windowless building.
I'd rather play with my nieces and nephews in the sunshine.
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